AIARE Instructor Training Course Video Recap

Why I Tele: Back to The Basics

For the past month I have been questioning my commitment to being a “Pro” athlete, my ability, and even my desire to drop a knee. I have been going up to the mountain most days purely based on a sense of “it’s what I should do” and “it’s really what others expect me to do”. Some where along the line I had forgotten why I ski, why I decided to put it all on the line to become a pro, and that I am living my childhood dream.

Now I would not blame anyone if they called me spoiled for being in a funk about my views on skiing- I mean after all it is just a sport based out of luxury that I get to do everyday. However; I will say that if you have ever felt truly passionate about something and then one day you woke up and had to talk yourself, day in and day out, to do that very thing that you had been so impassioned about, while putting on the front like you still loved it with all of your heart, you might feel a bit different.

So that has been my attitude and with that my skiing has been at an all time low. I have managed to fall down more lines, have more slope side melt downs, use combination’s of curse words I don’t think anyone has ever come up with, and have literally climbed into my truck to go home choking back tears of frustration and a sense of morning for the freedom and love skiing once offered.
But like any dark time, or any artist, writer, or person who has truly found there spirit in what they do, give it time and it will come back.
So here I am sitting in my house after my first day reunited with my true love, skiing.

“How did this transformation happen?” you ask, well I took some time off (only two days to be exact) but in those two days I was able to get away from what I thought I should be feeling, doing, and how others were looking at me- because truth be told they weren’t and if they were they could careless. I reflected on how I got to this point where skiing was no longer a source of inspiration and tried to pin point when those feelings shifted- and just like that there it was, laying there like the IPod you dropped in the snow bank waiting to be found; somewhere along the line I became so wrapped up in performing for photo shoots, film, and even for who I was skiing around that I just lost myself. I became self conscious and that lead to feeling insecure which intern lead me to that feeling of doubt and dread about doing something that I absolutely love.
So with that fabulous nugget of new awareness I thought back on how skiing use to make me feel and how I use to feel heading out to ski for the day. I remembered the excitement and the freedom and the way skiing always made me feel like a kid and allowed me to express every thought and emotion through movement and I remembered all of the laughter, hooting , and hollering in that unadulterated, unbridalled manner-And that is when it all started to click!

I began focusing on my attitude and tried to do things that would remind me of those more carefree days. I gave some time to reading and going to my local book, bead, and crystal shop (yeah, I know…I guess I am a bit of a heady tele chick). I even bought some rocks, which starting this past summer, I have began to believe in their power to change or infuse different energy and focus your intentions (again very heady, I am aware).
With my rocks in hand and my mind moving into the more playful spirit, that is me, I went home and got ready for work.

Today I woke up and kinda felt that I had lost a bit of that excited energy that i was starting to recover the previous day. So I started back doing the little things that remind me and invigorate my sense of play. By the time I was feeling back on track I was excitedly putting on my ski pants, emailing vigorously about getting a Canyon’s day pass (as that was the mountain I use to ski at when skiing was fun) and making a little pouch necklace to put my little “energy rocks”.
The pass came through and I headed up to the canyons with my headphones and huge desire to go ski whatever appealed. As the sunny afternoon went on I could not help but find myself singing to myself, dancing on the lift, and loving the playful movements with the mountain. The conditions weren’t epic, there was nothing outside of myself that made today awesome or rad or legit, it was just my attitude that created an absolutely spectacular day out of a quite ordinary one.

It would appear, that while I know I have to keep reminding myself to focus on the basics, that I have fallen back in spirit and I am truly inspired and in love with tele skiing once again:)

*As a little aside, I know this was a different sort of post for my blog; however sometimes it is important to drop the curtain and express what is truly going on. Hope this gives some insight and might even help in some way.